How angry is really angry??

These past few days have been very tough on me. And it has brought about a marked change in my behaviour. it's made me frustrated, angry, sad, and many other things. i'm a bloody soup of emotions right now. and until now, i used to think it was jus work pressure, but i guess i've found out the exact reason. i hadnt known until now, but i think i know the reason for my current situation. and i sure as hell am going to obliterate it. run it into the ground and destroy it, strip it atom from atom.

Man am i angry right now, it makes my blood boil and my knuckels go white when i think of it. it will see its end soo and that it can be sure of. that lying face, those deceitful eyes, that calculated mind and that sneaky tongue, all of them they will pay and they will pay dearly!

I do not wish to reveal what the problem is. and hence i will refer to it as "the problem" or "IT". My problem is that i am a very insecure person when it comes to my friends. as otherwise i'm alright. i have this constant fear of losing my precious friends. i know it sounds stupid but thats the truth. and when something causes me to start feeling insecure that when i start feeling like i have to do something and make things alright.

the sad part is that i actually had some thing to do with the social life of IT. IT never had a social life until IT met me. and after all this time IT has had the audacity to actually come up to me and do stuff that IT knows as well as i that i hate.

and the more irritating part is the fact that IT is safe from all sides, rather IT has such a calculative mind that IT makes sure it is safe from all sides. There is nothing i can do to hurt IT and that makes me even more mad. But there is only so much you can do and only so much u can say.

so i'm gonna take things to a different level now. a level that IT will not be able to understand or do anything in. There are somany things that IT is doing everyday that is making me more and more angry. I do not know when it will be the day that i burtst. and i pray to GOD that things change before i do, for i do not know what i will unleash upon IT once that happens. i know that this sounds really FILMY, but only ppl who really know me can really guage the depth of what i'm saying here!

It had the nerve to put me in a spot, that is something that i do NOT relish at all. and IT will pay through its noise for what it has done to me!

i donot wish to go on and on saying the same things i have been saying in above paragraphs, but this was the only way i could actually vent a bit of my anger other than punching a wall or door or something.